Ideally, I would rather find a new solution that we both want. Too often compromise is “I’m not happy so you shouldn’t be either!” In work situations I’ve been fine with “not getting what I want” rather than going with a solution neither of us want, because in healthy relationships (work, platonic, romantic) these things balance out.
It’s a blessing and a curse to see a deeper meaning in everything around me. The beauty and joy in life are enhanced, but so are the pain and sadness.
The truth is, as an Intuitive Feeler (specifically an INFJ), other people are the main way I create meaning in my life. I want to know others and be intimately known by them. I crave deep, intense, authentic connections that border on the metaphysical. My best memories come from connecting with people in energizing ways.
The INFJ type is believed to be very rare (less than 1 percent of the population) and has an unusual set of traits. Even though their presence can be described as very quiet, INFJ personalities usually have many strong opinions, especially when it comes to issues they consider really important in life. If an INFJ is fighting for something, this is because they believe in the idea itself, not because of some selfish reasons.
INFJ personalities are drawn toward helping those in need: they may rush to the place of a major disaster, participate in rescue efforts, do charity work, etc. INFJs see this as their duty and their purpose in life. People with this personality type firmly believe that nothing else would help the world as much as getting rid of all the tyrants (though preferably in a non-violent way). Karma and similar concepts are very attractive to INFJs.
These tendencies are also strengthened by the fact that INFJ personalities have a unique combination of idealism and decisiveness. This means that their creativity and imagination can be directed toward a specific goal. Few other personality types have this trait, and this is one of the most important reasons why many INFJs are able to eventually realize their dreams and make a lasting positive impact.
INFJs are masters of written communication, with a distinctively smooth and warm language. In addition, the sensitivity of INFJs allows them to connect to others quite easily. Their easy and pleasant communication can often mislead bystanders, who might think that the INFJ is actually a very sociable person.
Every man must decide whether he will walk in the light of creative altruism or in the darkness of destructive selfishness.
INFJs should be careful to avoid “overheating” as their zeal and determination can sometimes get out of hand. As Introverts (I), INFJs need to have some “alone time” every once in a while; otherwise their internal energy reserves will get depleted really quickly. If this happens, the INFJ may surprise everybody around them by withdrawing from all their activities for a while, and since other people usually see INFJs as always friendly and sociable, this can leave them both surprised and concerned.
INFJs take great care of other people’s feelings and expect others to return the favor. Unsurprisingly, people with this personality type are very sensitive and vulnerable to conflicts. Even the most rational INFJs may find it quite difficult to not take criticism personally—this is the INFJ’s Achilles’ heel. If someone with an INFJ personality cannot escape the conflict, they will do their best to deal with it head on, but this will result in a lot of stress and may also potentially lead to health problems or highly irrational behavior.
I wish desperately that I could reconcile the part of me that needs to be alone and the other that craves to make a connection. But I have no idea how.
You’re welcome! It was an awesome post you made :)
Back in the day, I had a choir director who always told us to “leave our baggage at the door”. He said if we couldn’t do that, he didn’t want us at rehearsal at all. The message: “I don’t care what you’re going through. Emotion is weakness and has no place here.” To this day, it still makes me really angry. I think part of it is the fact that he was a 30-something-year-old man saying this to a room full of teenaged girls (seriously…go stick your head back in the sand), and part of it is the fact that MUSIC = EMOTION, but it was also due to an unspoken (and perhaps subconscious) assumption that everyone should be able to compartmentalize their lives to the same degree. Well, newsflash, sir: I CAN’T. It’s simply not my design. And you know what? That’s okay. It doesn’t make me weak. If anything, it makes me one of the strongest people you will ever know.